”The problem with kids is they don’t know how to set goals.”

Q: What do you think the problem with kids these days is?

You can think about this question if you want but I don’t really give it a lot of my time or energy.

I think our youth are thriving.

AND I do all I can to help them with what they need.

But I start with the idea that our youth are thriving.

Why do I believe that?

Because it’s true.

AND there are struggles that they are navigating.

But when I come from the starting point that they are thriving, guess what happens?

Evidence of thriving.

That’s what happens.

Someone recently told me that the problem with kids is that they don’t know how to set goals.

And I said, “Really? I don’t see it.”

Then he told me how they don’t write down things they want to accomplish and identify how they will accomplish it and check it off when they’ve done it.

Oh.

So, he meant that they don’t write down their goals and check them off.

That’s very different than not knowing how to set and accomplish a goal.

I asked Coleman, “What’s a goal you have right now?”

His response, “Uh. I don’t know.”

And that very same week he also told me how he was talking to a certain teacher to make sure his grade was what he wanted it to be.

And how he wanted to leave for lacrosse practice 10 minutes earlier because he didn’t want to be the last one there.

And how he was really looking forward to doing his room in my house decluttering project because he wanted to get rid of 50% of his stuff.

And how he wanted to pass the test to get his learner’s permit for driving.

And how he wanted to learn three chords on the ukulele.

And how he was trying to win on Fortnite.

Those are all goals.

He just didn’t see them as the kind of goals that count as goals.

He even has plans of how he wants to accomplish them.

And when he does accomplish one, he is happy about it.

What if the problem isn’t that kids don’t set goals?

What if the problem is that they don’t realize how many goals they are actually accomplishing?

Maybe the problem is that we think they should be accomplishing a different goal and so we don’t give them credit for the goals they have?

What if the problem is that, in the age of SMART goals, we have the wrong definition of what a goal really looks like?

“A goal not written down is just a wish.”

Nope.

Not true.

We accomplish goals that aren’t written down all of the time.

How we talk about this matters.

How we describe kids to ourselves and to others matters.

How we describe kids to themselves really matters.

What we speak, we create.

What we believe, we create.

I believe kids are thriving.

I believe kids are good at setting and accomplishing goals.

I speak these beliefs to other adults.

I say it out loud to kids.

I tell Coleman that he is good at setting and accomplishing goals….and I tell him how it’s true.

AND I help as he navigates things that feel difficult.

Q: What do you think the problem with kids these days is?

How useful is your answer to that question?

People who read my emails tackle this kind of thing.

You are change-makers.

You are light-seekers.

You love personal development.

So, you’re going to love implementing this concept and I know you’ll see the effects very quickly.

Because that’s how I see you.

Sending love,

K